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Showing posts from 2010

'A Case Of Space Herpes' or 'STDs In Space!' (The Ice Pirates/The Green Slime)

We have something very special this week, kiddies: a double feature! There is likely much more that could be said about either of these movies—especially The Green Slime , which nearly cost me my life. Or could have. But something got me thinking, and the funny started happening from there. Both movies have STDs. That's right. You're gonna get sick from watching them. Oh, and catch the clap, too.

(what a dumb post)--New URL! Blog can haz!

Some of you may recall a few months back when I was trying to think up a url for my blog. At some point in the intervening time, I made a post pondering the consequences of voodoo on Haiti... a friend made a comment... it inspired a url.... facepalmer.[something] see, some guy's had '' registered but unused for, like, ever. {not gonna judge...not gonna judge...not gonna judge....that fricking wanker!!} Being as I am, afterall, me , I'd need a damn good reason to go with anything other than "", right!? And then it hit me. " --the 'org' is for 'orgasm!' " it suits me way too well :) I am very pleased.

Cosmo Jarvis - Gay Pirates

Too cute. Not much more needs saying--I'll let the video speak for itself :P My friend Colin showed this to me; thanks, man!

Holy Shite...

Well, I survived. How many blog posts have I started that way? Grr. If I valued originality more I might contrive some alternatives. But, alas. Meanwhile, I've been working. A lot. And hard, too! I worked about 32ish hours last week and will again this week. Yay, retail + holidays = busy. I think I'm beginning to get the hang of this whole customer service/outfitting/selling thing. Or reaching out/trying/engaging, at least. I actually enjoy it. It's a lot more fun than just standing on the sidelines, folding, and watching--passively--as yet another potential sale walks out the door instead of buying anything. Definitely more fun. Like, I feel freer to just be myself. To be dorky, helpful, playful, fun, knowledgeable, inquisitive, creative.... I'm grateful, I suppose, to American Eagle and the principles its customer service emphasizes--Be Real, Be Party Ready, Be Friends First, and Be The Customer. So, like, instead of opening with sales pitches ("just so

Just a lil quickie fer ya'z...

'Allo, Duckies.... Sorry I've been absent; I'm sure it's been brutal on you all. All three of you who read this, lawl. I've been working my ass off at work (I'll have something like 31 or 32 hours this week by the end of Saturday...) to cull together enough change to make these loan payments (with maybe a bit to spare to get some lucky few some cheap ass gifts or something). I've also been lazing off/avoidancing in my spare time. But mostly working. I haven't completely avoided my loan shit this particular week, just.... putting it off. Goddamnit. I even know it'd be so much easier to just deal with it now or two weeks ago than to accrue anymore late payments/bad credit, but money just terrifies me :( Well, I believe Dad and I're gonna take down these payment bastards tonight after work. My hope is he'll lend me the money necessary to eliminate this round of payments and their corresponding late fees, etc, and then I'll pay him

Survived, for now.

Rocky Horror was pretty good last night. I debuted as MC, and hopefully will have the privilege of MC'ing future shows. I may have sucked up some bits, but overall I had a lot of fun and the audience seemed to respond real good-like. :) All 12 of them. XD I also survived the whole week on nothing but a baggie of dimes. I'd found a cash of change back when I rearranged my room 'round Thanksgiving. Oh, there were quarters, but, of course, they were the first to go. The dimes actually lasted quite a while--I estimate there must've been at least $10 or $15 worth :) I haven't entirely decided what movie to review for tomorrow; considering it's sunday and I'd still need to re-view before I can even review it, that could cut it close. If all else fails, I'll just do  The Green Slime --which I only narrowly survived. No, not so much cuz of it's awfulness (it  was pretty awful though...) as apparently the green slime's...sound effect pierced some d

Oy, hey.

So the spons-da-sponse wanted me to do some first step work for our meetup this week; good ole "not yet" workthrough. Of course I didn't do it/haven't done it yet. >.< You want powerlessness? Unmanageability? Left to my own devices, I'll let an entire week slip by. Left to my own devices, I'll get myself into a real money jam. Left to my own devices, I'll sit on my hands all depressy & mopey and not look for a job or work out some kinda a budget or anything  productive , instead flirting with boys online to feel pretty and playing computer games to distract mahself/fritter time. So, first thing's first....uh? What's first? Do (some of) the stepwork? Apply to another job? Clean my God forsaken room/the wasteland? Call my loan servicers? Sigh, it sucks that even when I know I need to do something, and even kinda want to do something, I still manage to find nothing to do >.<

Hm, hm.

Uh, oh--another Radiohead mood.... But seriously, things have a kinda slowed-down-feeling. Not that I want to let them slow down--not that I'm going to let them slow down--just that that's how they feel. It's odd.

Follow The White Pyramid. (The Acid Eaters)

There are many bad movies out there. I hope to watch many of them--and blogment them for your enjoyment. There will, naturally, be some that are bad, a bit goofy, a bit weird, but ultimately just pathetic. The Acid Eaters is just such a movie. This is probably the most outright pathetic film I’ve yet reviewed here. Still, though, it provides some interesting possibilities.... It’s an alleged drugsploitation movie from 1965 and, therefore, also a softcore porn. It’s terrible at being either of those things, of course. All the same, i learned that, apparently, acid is actually 4” x 4” x 1” squares of Styrofoam. And here I thought you weren’t supposed to eat Styrofoam. But there they are, and apparently doing so causes.....hallucinations? "You have only to take a bite...." says Roger Delgado on steroids to a man in a gay hat. It certainly causes a bunch of middle-aged guys/drones and 30-something girls to act like teenaged idiots for just over an hour of our time. Joy.


>.< I'm not sure how today'll work out, but today's "Bad Movie Mondays" post may be posted as early as tonight but possibly tomorrow. I have been working on; notes have been taken, plans have been made, sentences have been composed (somewhat) in my mind. Just...some unexpected business/messiness came up and it'll have to take priority for the now. See, I finally manned up and did the math on those student loans/wages business that had me so freaked out last week . You know how things are supposed to get easier once you face'em? At the least, turn out not as awful as you'd feared? Yeah, ironically, the numbers I crunched turned out worse than I'd been anticipating. I can't help wondering if this could have been avoided. The severity of the ick, that is. You know, if I'd manned up/faced the messiness sooner.... *sigh*


I hate allergies. Especially when they don't respond to such things as (over the counter) claritin. Bugger. So I've already begun tomorrow's Bad Movie Monday review. I've watched it twice, looking for answers, inspiration, insight...and found little if any of them. It's a really pathetic movie but I think I can do something interesting with my review. I took notes. Mmm. I will say it's a drugsploitation movie, or tried to be. So this really meant there was a buttload of titties. I kept having to ask Parker, my straight roomie, things like "So, is this what tits look like?" "Is that normal ?" "Would those be considered 'hot tits'?" etc. Thank God I had him or I'd have been so confused. Yay for the gay. Kk, I needa go pretend to get ready for work. And hope these allergies/congestion/whatever clears up by the time I actually have to clock in. Or it's gonna be a looong afternoon.

Do not want = Will not do?

It's a pathetic equation, to be sure, but so much of my life has been derailed by it. I've been kinda down all week and didn't even realize it until at earliest Wednesday evening. Typically, I've been avoiding taking care of a whole gamut of responsibilities. Today I figured out what's got me down. Money.

My apologies. ('MetalStorm', pt 1?)

*sigh.* As I'd somewhat feared, Bad Movie Monday failed; instead I'll throw together a half-assed 'Bad Movie Tuesday' even if the corny name doesn't work the same. As I might as well have also promised the other day, this review might be a little disappointing, too. I ended up having to watch/heckle MetalStorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn  on my own, which proved to be more than just a little difficult. Don't get me wrong; I imagine this movie could have some really great potential. However, it's a little dry. At least, so much so that I--but one, lone, tired homo--couldn't handle it all on his ownsome. Even despite its having a pneumatic gonorrhea discharging dildoman in the cast of villains.

More of the Awesomes from Parker Bleu

So my biffle/roomie has done it again; more loveliness :D Granted, I'm biased, but I really like this. It sounds like a cross between the soundtracks for Braid and Donnie Darko . Parker, of course, insists it's way different or something. Still pretty though. By the way, I got contributed to this one--and, no, not just that flash of me at the end. Parker recorded me typing on mah "broken" typewriter for the end bit. Mhm. Insider info: Parker's actually planning a whole series of videos linked together to tell a story. It's gonna be pretty trippy-sexy from the sound of it. This is actually the second; bonus points if you can figure out what the first is :P


So we've acquired a great deal of furniture from my grandmother's house; we moved her into an assisted living setup and, naturally, sold her home. She'd asked me a month or two back if there was anything I wanted. It didn't take me long. I wanted the desk. The desk. The one from the study off of her bedroom. The one with all kinds of cabinets and drawers and nooks and crannies. Apparently it's nothing but an old country clerk's desk, worth maybe $300--a meager sum compared to much of the rest of the heirlooms, antiques, and art throughout her house. She readily agreed I could have it. Then things got a little messy. Then they got fine. Then they got messy again--differently. Then I learned a little about myself and, prospectively, grew up. It was good times, if a little frustrating.


So I decided that, in the spirit of originality, to declare Mondays henceforth be known on this blog as "Bad Movie Mondays". So that means (at least?) one of my infamous bad movie reviews a week. Hopefully this will force me to start working through my ever growing collection of bad movies/to maybe someday get good at reviewing movies. We'll just have to see, eh? This week's movie is a gay softcore porn/artflick called Laserblast . No, seriously, it's some kind of sci-fi thriller/horror thing--but this kid is ragingly gay. But tragically closetted. As you can tell, I heckled this one with some gay friends. For those of you who'd like a competent review of this movie, please check out my new lovers--though they don't know it yet--over at Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies.

Green Means "Go!".

My high school hag used to say that--"Green means 'Go!'!"--and now I say it when I'm on my bike at intersections. It's sort of a declaration to the cosmos that I have some kind of invisible right of way. I also just realized it couldn't get much greener than biking--my carbon footprint is, like, nil or stuff. All this biking has been a new experience for me. Being able to go farther for freer and timelier too is kinda amazing. My legs and ass have never been finer, either. I'm also losing the pudge I put on over the summer. Naturally, though, as a second hand bike, there have been a few hitches here and there. It's a lot like sex (but what isn't?): overall fuckin' great but there's always a thing or two--something the other guy does, some habit or oversight, or maybe it's your bad afterall--that just nags at your ability to quite give over. Kinda cuts into the kinky good times, you know? Especially over time; you thought it'

Sacrifice *does* pay off.

So at American Eagle, we're given something called "call-in" hours in addition to our regular work hours. They're basically like tentative work hours; we call in about an hour before they start to see if the store needs us and if so, we gotta be there or it's just like skipping a regular shift of work. Due to a few recent factors I've ended up working many of mine this week. And how.

Serious Business, People. Seriously.

So, the time has come. Or, rather, I've made the time come. Because I goddamned feel like it. So anyway: I think I want a (proper) domain name for this blog. And I want your input/thoughts. Now , you fuckers. Not later--NOW. I'm impatient! So, yeah--DO IT FAGGOT. Gimme feedback. (\/ \/ \/ yeah, you should prolly read/skim the rest of the post... \/ \/ \/)

"Happy Halloween, 2010", draft(s)

This is a work in progress, inspired by a recent real-life accident . Hopefully there's enough in this poem that you don't need all the background, but I did provide it anyway. Well, here's the original draft of this poem, for simplicity: The train stopped for you As none of us'd suspected When the train jerked-stopped And powered down to quarter-light And the conductor informed us Of a "situation", and not to panic. "Was it terrorists?! Had someone bombed The metrorail system? or taken hostages??" No, no; most of the time, Life's too ordinary for that; No, no; it was just a man Too sad to live, standing On a metro platform, Looking down. afternotes: I was actually on the 8 car train to Glenmont that hit the man in the October 29th incident as mentioned at the beginning of this and timelined here . Because life is just weird like that, I proceeded to do the first of our two Halloween weekend Rocky Horror performances the sam

Rocky Horror - Better than Glee.

You know, I've routinely refused to watch Glee. Like whoa. I've seen bits, it's amusing, but not my thing. Plus how can I be a properly pretentions intellectual fag if I don't look down on & snub snobbily some ragingly popular thing?? It's just not proper decorum, really. I'm also in a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadowcast (website in progress, but that's us :)). Naturally, they were all excited about that Glee episode when they first heard about it; I on the other hand gave a pained smile and said "Isn't that special. I'm still not watching it." Part of me's pretty glad I didn't, frankly. (hah! get it? like Tim Curry.)

Death of a Non-Fag.

Or a not-quite-full-force-fagmunch. However, he is dead either way. In his place stands a newer, increasingly faggy me. Woe unto the world for the loss. See, there's this sweater I've been seeing at work (American Eagle Outfitters). I really really really fucking want it. Check it out, babes *. Yes, it's $149.50. But I want it. And imma gonna get it.

What the fucker/Parker is the coolest guy ever :)

So I'm still a bit irked up in the head over a fight (?) I had with a good friend last night. I've slept on it so I feel better, but I was pretty headfucked over it earlier. I'm sure there are better circumstances to plug my best friend/roommate's fuckin neat-ass youtube work , but at least I can bring something positive out of griping about  this fight with that other friend...? maybe? So I've known Parker for a lil while now, and he's my best friend & roommate, and I fucking love this kid. Music is his life, basically; he films, edits, and sets all of his youtube videos to his own music. And they're fucking brilliant & adorkable; just the kinda people I like to be around, eh? :) Seriously, check out his stuff--he just uploaded a video last night! So I'm talking to my friend, and I tell him quite earnestly--adoring fanboy that I am--to check out Parker's stuff . But not only does he refuse to, he refuses to rather bitchily. He can

Something's up...or down.

I"m not sure what's wrong with me these days. Lately I've been getting progressively lazier, fatter, and surlier. And, no sir, I don't like it one bit. And the irksome thing is I know there are some perfectly good solutions and ways to put things on the mend , I've just been neglecting them.


My super cool, ultra sexy best friend & roommate, Parker, wrote & filmed & edited this. He also quoted one of my poems at the end, which proves he's mah bestie cuz he knows how to flatter my ego into shamelessly plugging his hotself :P

Cool kid coming through.

So guess who has a real job. That's right. Me. I worked my first two shifts at American Eagle Outfitters Friday and Sunday night, totaling up 20 hours, easy as that. I'm also getting into biking; I biked home after both those shifts. It was fun! Slightly exhausting considering I'd been doing like 10hrs of floor set shit and it turns out I had a cold (don't worry, I only feel slightly guilty for telling my coworkers it was only "allergies" my whole shift). So I'm pretty sold on the biking thing. Anything that trims my waistline and sexies up my legs/ass is a win, nevermind the whole getting-me-places bit--that's just a hot hot bonus. Speaking of sexy legs (and lips...), everyone who's coming down for the Rally to Restore Sanity/Keep Fear Alive should come to the midnight showings of Rocky Horror at the E Street Landmark--either the night before (Friday the 29th) and/or that night (Saturday the 30th). On the 30th, we'll be doing a hot

Ugh, what.

I find it weird that my most read posts are not the lil reviews I do or even so much the more upbeat "I learned something" posts. No, it looks like the ones that have/look to have dramarama end up the most popular. I find that a bit disconcerting. Of course I base this on two posts out of the forty I've posted in the last couple and a few dozen hits out of the...well let's just say "several hundred" overall views I've had. Still, though. Even on days when the latest post is something amusing & fanciful & nice--like a snarky review of a bad movie--these older, dramatic posts will still get more views. Sigh. And certainly, it's possible there's more to it than 'drama = attention'; like, I realize a chunk of my views are just them spider-bots combing my blogs for search engine indexes. Or perhaps, too, it's that both of those posts have words like "fuck" and "suck" and "balls" and "gay"

Sigourney Weaver is PISSED. (Spacehunter)

I'm pretty sure that cyborgy-suit Michael Ironsides is wearing has something hard and sandpapery viciously shoved up his va-jay-jay. I mean seriously! Here, she's just looking smug & smarmy, but....   I actually watched this a while back and've been saving it up for a time like this--when I felt bad for neglecting the blog for a few days yet had nothing much to say. Mhm. I'm a strategerist, that I am. Anyway, I'll say this much before I forget: despite everything pining for the contrary, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone actually isn't that bad of a movie. In fact I'd say it's rather good. Still fucking hilarious to riff à la MST3k :) Which was where the title for this post came from. The first time this "Overdog" character is shown s/he does this haughty spin around to see who approaches and has this mean ole frown on his/her face. So of course, quite naturally, "Sigourney Weaver is  PISSED " just tumbled outta m

Gay boys suck balls.

My urge to poeticize this is pretty intense, however my thoughts are scattered. So there's very few people I actually despise; at the moment only one really comes to mind. The other day a boy I've really liked for a long while now--with whom I used to hook up & hang out with adorably quite a bit--informed me he was gonna go sex about with this faggot I dislike.

Oatmeal is tasty.

{slurps up berry-oatmeal-deliciousness} Indeed. I need to work on rebuilding a morning schedule. I can be zombie-like enough that I'll waste a perfectly good morning, and have often slept through many. And, really, it's such a useful time of day.

Monster A No-No.

Clever, right? Cuz cuz cuz--it's really called-- Monster A-Go Go or  Monster A Go-Go . See what I did there?! Cuz--it's really bad! Like, you shouldn't watch it bad! Bahahahahahaahah--and I'm stopping. Fuck you, at least I was amused.... XD But seriously--what does "a go-go" even mean?? Is "a no-no" really any less....meaningless? All the same--it's terrible. Like, not as bad as Disaster Movie , sure, but--dude--it's pretty fucking bad. What they did to this movie should be illegal. Like, my super awesome roommate, Parker, slept through the worst parts--that asshole--and even  he thought it was abominable. If you really must watch it, though, don't watch it without the MST3k guys' commentary. Seriously. I mean, even they had trouble making it watchable--there are parts where they just randomly invent meaningless dialogue because NOTHING WAS HAPPENING .

I guess I should be doing stuff shouldn't I. Sigh.... :)

I "couldn't" get to sleep until 3 and regained consciousness about half an hour ago. Goddamnit, haha. I'd love to beat off but my roommate's asleep just over yonder. I think it'd feel kinda weird. Oh well, if I ever date someone with a cum fetish, they'll be happy if this keeps up.... XD MEANWHILE I've been really good. My biggest dilemma is what to do if I get that office job (my therapist and sponsor both made really good arguments for it...between the hours and the pay I'm starting to agree with them more and more...). "o exploitablez!  i can haz 2 jobs--but which should I take??" As ever, that's all assuming I even get the job. But I shared at my sort-of home group last night, it's kinda hard to believe, you know? Only a few months ago, when I was still pretty new in the program, I came to the brink of wanting to hurt myself. I'd spent so many years avoiding so many responsibilities and any accountabil

I may love Meryl Streep, but this is ridiculous.

I just got out of an interview for an administrative assistant/file processing position at a law firm. I was getting nightmare visions that I'd be working for Meryl Streep from Devil Wears Prada--apparently life comprises two major areas of interest for her: practicing law and her cats. (Actually, the latter doesn't sound so bad; I do love cats afterall, mreow ^.^) But she's a very busy, very intense person, I hear. Sounds kinda cool, too, in her way I suppose. But very demanding. It's a parttime position but it'd be from like 2 to 7pm every weekday. I have no idea how American Eagle would feel about that arrangement 0.0

Lawlsauce, Winsauce, and a Bit of D'ohsauce. Mmm.

So as many of you probably know, I've been applying to jobs. This has provided some lulz, some win, and some ironic stress. (quick preview though: I did get a job :)) As I'm a slut for parallelism I'll ignore my preview for the moment and go for the lulz: So my first interview was last Friday. At Hollister. Me. At Hollister. That alone is lulz worthy. But the truly fappable bit comes when we actually examine one or two of the details and make a ridiculously dorky reference out of it.

Ah, remember when....?

So a week or two ago I was reading about Boeing's plans to get in on the commercial space tourism racket . You see, I'm one of those dorks who prays to the gods of the internets & cosmos & such that something like hyperspace/ftl travel could be possible within my own lifetime. Yeah, little known secret...and such a bloody long shot, by far, that I'll ever get to see another solar system in this lifetime....but....... This isn't such a bad compromise, I guess. Even some space travel is better than none . Even just the possibility. It's almost like science fiction beginning to come to life before my eyes. Fantasies fulfilled, even. It all gets me really really excited, and always has. Like, does anyone else remember the X Prize from a few years back? (Or who won it? or how lulzy it was that the $10mil prize didn't even cover the $25mil that went into developing the winning project? lulz indeed.) That whole thing had me totally jazzed for a while--and

fml--or, well, I guess it's not so bad really....

So my big accomplishment of the week was finishing my resume. I've been putting that off for.....2+ years? Yeah! How's that for cool kids? Then, right at the peak of my aweseomesauce, things got slightly less awesome on me. Stupid world and its stupid rules. But first, the resume. It really didn't take me long at all once I sat down, asked my dad for some suggestions, and got a basic idea going between him & the internet. The problem of course was really my perfectionism, egoism, apprehension, and anxiety--all of which were character defects that came up during my 4th/5th steps. And are ones I really need to learn to own, claim, and let go if I'm going to grow up.

Goddamn, this is why I love living in DC :)

Thank you, Jon Stewart. Not only do I actually believe in this thing's message, but it also sounds like a really good time. As you said, "It'll be like a chatroom....only real." The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c Rally to Restore Sanity Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party I can't be the only guy kinda annoyed at how extremists and partisanship muck up attempts at progress. You know, good ideas that get called stalin-esque and filled with porky 'compromise' until they're just plumply hitler-esque. I also love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, and anything they wanna do in my town, I wanna be there to fuck shit up with moderation, of course.

blogging = success (boys = fail)

So I think I figured out how to work around the whole facebook-not-importing-my-blog-to-notes thing--it's a neat lil app called RSS graffiti. Yeah, this is as much a test as it is a celebration. Meanwhile, things with yet another boy didn't quite work out. This time it was fairly merciful actually--less a lack of interest as a mutual realization that the situation was problematic (distance is a bitch). Yet more proof that geography is made of faggotry. Or anti-faggotry. I don't really feel like thinking that declaration out at this time XD I've got an early morning ahead of me, I might as well get to it. Also! I (mostly) finished my resume yesterday :D more on that bit of joy later...

Let's Dalloway The Day Away.

Since I can't seem to find a means to directly comment on my friend's post (stupid tumblr), I figured I'd make a blog post out of my response. This is my favorite paragraph of English prose in all of English literature, the 5th paragraph from Virginia Woolf's Mrs Dalloway : For having lived in Westminster -- how many years now? over twenty,-- one feels even in the midst of the traffic, or waking at night, Clarissa was positive, a particular hush, or solemnity; an indescribable pause; a suspense (but that might her heart, affected, they said, by influenza) before Big Ben strikes. There! Out it boomed. First a warning, musical; then the hour, irrevocable. The leaden circles dissolved on the air. Such fools we are, she thought, crossing Victoria Street. For Heaven only knows why one loves it so, how so, making it up, building it round one, tumbling it, creating it every moment afresh; but the veriest of frumps, the most dejected of miseries (drink their downfall) do same

h0ly sh1tskiez

So I got bored after lunch/while working on my resume, and so I meandered to the "stats" section of this blog. I know it's nuts--but it turns out there are people are actually reading this thing. WTF?! Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered, but you gotta understand...I'm a bit baffled too. Frankly much too few of you read " Bo Dean is a Funny Man "; how can you resist anything to do with pornstars & lulz?? Seriously people. Read it now.

Ah, Well, Fuck It.

I wrote this Friday morning intending to finish off the last paragraph later that day and post it. Interestingly enough, things have changed. My best friend and I decided to become roommates, I have newfound motivation to apply & follow up on jobs, and generally move forward as proactively as I can. So yeah, i'll try to post more about all that goodness later on, but until then, enjoy.... So far this morning has been a coming to terms. Coming to terms with not going to Sessions by the Sea in Ocean City - Did you know I've never been to Ocean City? I don't care if it's crap or not, I just want to see the damn place someday. Oh, and all that hot program/conference action too. That'd also be nice. I'm totally not so shallow that I'd prioritize going to the gorgeous/fun/sexy/mythical Ocean City or sating my curiosity--sentimental and lustful by turns--above furthering my sobriety/program. Heavens no. Coming to terms with needing a job - Did you know

One Day Some Day

One day, some day, You won't find me so creepy Or unappealing Or whatever it is about me. --That makes you pick up your pace As I call after. --Or roll your eyes when you think I can't see. --That makes you screen my calls Ignore my texts. Maybe some day. Maybe one day. Maybe. Should I wait that long I doubt it Can I wait that long I doubt it I'm simply human afterall And you're simply missing out.

Bo Dean is a Funny Man

So I was up all night and at one point I watched this porn I'd recently gotten--Cocksure Men's "The Gay Coach 7", starring Bo Dean and some poor bastard. As a porn star, naturally he has a big dick. From the way he was...thrusting it... it seems he certainly knows how to use it. He just likes using it to hurt ur butt . He's undeniably an irl troll, and fucking hilarious about it. See, Bo's fucking this guy who's crying out in obvious pain--and the entire time Bo's having ball, smiling at the guy's...discomfort. See, Bo didn't want the boy to be in abject, bloody agony apparently--afterall the guy wasn't screaming. No, just making pained groans and grunts, an unrelieved punctuation of "ow!"s "fucks!" and "oh God--!"s. I even skipped around looking for that magic point when the bottom wold stop butthurting and start buttwanting. That moment never came (giggity) . I almost had to pity the guy, except it was

Epic Faggotry--The good kind!

So my friend Meg made my week when she tipped me off to this: Tchaikovsky was fantastically   gay *. Like, unbelievably gay. Like, Freddie Mercury gay. Like, so gay his fabulousness radiated across Russia and warmed the hearts of millions (Ah, if only the Russians weren't such cold, heartless bastards, eh?). Oh, I came my pants. Verily. Such a bear; do you think he was much into leather, too?

Dorktronic Toxemia

It's kinda funny--the title of this post is itself an obscure reference to Doctor Who*. But, seriously, my dorktronic levels these last few weeks have been running dangerously high.... Besides watching Doctor Who (actually, less so than I've been known to...), I've really taken to watching/mocking bad movies (have you noticed?), both already MST3k'd and not. The other week I decided to switch over to Dvorak keyboard layout --in fact I'm trying to write this whole post with it as practice. The way I see it, the 3 biggest things I'll likely spend much of the rest of my life doing will involve lots of typing--writing, computering, and temping--and i can do without the repetitive strain injuries...yeah. I've also been fiddling with mah linuxes lots--I've put Linux Mint 9 LXDE on my laptop. Dunno if i'll keep it or go back to regular Linux Mint or try out the KDE flavor. Big winsauce though--ie monster dorktronics alert--I got Lubuntu working on an


1. Do shady, mysterious physical labor for neighbor... 2. ???? 3. PROFIT Yup that's my day. In a nutshell. Actually it's looking like it'll be viciously packed. Like, I'm not sure if I should just jack off/take a dump now while I can cuz I don't know if I'll have much of a chance later XD I guess we'll just hafta see then, eh?

(My) Poetry: Youtube Reading...

Yeah, I did it. And with a poem I wasn't really done with (read: hadn't actually revised). But it came out decent. I tried not to be nervous, and I tried to be prepared/expressive/natural/real and that went...well? I guess? Thanks goes out to my friend Parker who insisted, filmed, and edited the whole damn thing. We'll probably do more, just a warning.... Well, here it is along with text of the poem as of the reading (some words may differ; I'm typing what's in my pad not what I said....): I find it kind of funny How for someone like me --Renowned for the short breadth of his attention span-- How well and how long You've held it; How easily you've distracted it How vastly it's whored itself In vain fantasy Of someday Catching yours.  Through all this All these times we've lost touch You've moved away or moved back Through all the confusions & boyfriends I've still thought of you (In one way or another...). A

Not Even Terrible.

In other news, I ignored all the warnings and omens and actually watched  Disaster Movie the other night. When can I have my sight back? I've taken to watching a lot of bad movies recently--always enjoyed them since I grew up on MST3k--and I thought I was prepared. I thought I could handle any bad movie. I thought I could have fun with it. I was wrong. Very very wrong.

trying, really trying.

I've been down the last couple of weeks. It was really bad about 3 weeks ago but then "seemed" to go away only to come back really subtly in the last week or so. More of a listlessness & malaise this week. Not helpful. All the same, I "helped" my bestfriend May get a job and start thinking about apartments and now that's got  me all motivated. So even despite my malaisey-listlessness, I've managed to be somewhat productive this week. I actually applied to some places and even contemplated driving practice with mom. w0wza. Despite today's late start (noon? really??) I'm determined to apply to at least a handful more places and actually figure out this whole resume business. Maybe even do some driving if it stops raining.... 0.o

fucker butter.

Yesterday was crap, mostly. A couple friends came over the night before and we were up until ungodly hours playing videogames and eating frozen pizza. I spent most of the day sleeping. I'd get up, eat a leftover slice of pizza, smoke, then go back to sleep. So productive. I just felt low all day, a subtle weight. I wanted to get some stuff done but it was too hot out and I felt no motivation anyway. Today I'm trying a suggestion my psychiatrist made a while back, see how that goes. In lighter news, I'm going to see Interpol tonight :D fucking STOKED. as you can see from my , which has been a bit fucked over due to technical issues with song submission, Interpol's a beloved of mine. (Really they should be up at 4th place, but I haven't been able to scrobble my ipod properly in a long while....) Part of me feels a little guilty--it keeps nagging, "Have you really  earned this...?"--but I know I'd regret missing the opportunity due to indec


So, as I was saying yesterday, it's been kind of a bummer week for me. But yesterday I went at it anyway--did my prayers, got dressed, and did what I needed to do, mostly. I ate, I wrote, I did my to-do list, I watered the plants, I walked the dog, I called my sponsor, I tended the vegetables, I mowed the front lawn, I turned the compost, I deadheaded perennials, I emptied the dishwasher, I filled the dishwasher, and so on. All in all it was only 2 and a half hours...still, I suppose I should focus on the accomplishment more than the time for now, though generally I'd aim for 3 or 4 hours a day during the week, fewer if I've worked on the weekends. The highlight of the day, though, was after my Friday night meeting a close friend of my sponsor and mine--who usually comes off somewhat prudish--said I looked so good he could almost thirteenth step me on the spot. Hellz yeah. It's funny cuz I'd dressed more conservatively than usual--bright limey green polo tucked

Rough times, man

The last week was pretty rough on me. I'm not entirely sure why. I was just....subtley down. Unmotivated. Lethargic. I felt like nothing was going anywhere and like I was just stuck. Suffice to say, I didn't get much done that week. While I'd fairly easily managed almost 50 hours working for my grandmother in Connecticut, I struggled to break 10 once I was back home. This week, though, I'm making an effort to keep moving forward even if I'm down. And it's been working pretty well. :) Also, my vegetable garden is fucking EPIC :D I'm so proud of the damn thing. Yeah, bitches, I built that :P It's prolly even more epic now, I'll hafta take new pics. I'll also have to post pics of the lake/lakehouse--I got some really lovely ones :)

Well that was nice

Because of bus dickery, I got stuck in NYC overnight while heading back to DC from Connecticut. I stayed with my ex, Mani, and it turned out really well. No awkward feelings, no bitterness, no backbiting or anything. Just good videogame action (I was talked into playing 'Silent Hill: Shattered Memories' and promptly died like a dozen times) and a good helping of sardonic banter. It was a thoroughly good time. I'd almost forgotten how much I love New York; it all came back to me as I finished my cheap ass pizza and lit up a cigarette on the way to Port Authority. It plays well into both my people-watching and life-lovey compulsions. I could sit on a corner and watch the traffic with possibly a cigarette or iced coffee or even in ball-sweating heat, and just smile at life. You know what? I've got. Hour to kill; I think I might go and enjoy a bit more of life instead of sitting around this underground bus cavern if I can


I'm on my way to the lakehouse in Connecticut for a week of hard labor and heavy writing. Should be fun--and lovely as fuck. The temperature should be about 20 degrees cooler than back home. Plus the lake/woods are so tranquil and favorite place in the world. Meanwhile I'll have a 3 hour wait in NYC, that city I love that city I hate.... Thankfully I won't be left utterly on my own to mope and weep and otherwise fail: my friend Lucas and I are going to grab coffee between mah buses ^.^ Yesterday my sponsor and I started my fifth step; we got a good chunk into my Resentments, but still have a ways to go. All the same, it was a good solid start. I'm excited to keep working on it when I get back. (For those that don't know the 5th step is wjhere you meet with your sponsor and go through the personal inventory you wrote during the 4th step.) Anywway, I'll have to remember to post that poem I wrote. I've been reading a lot of Frost and have found hi

Changes, Changes

Dude, I'm currently doing a stripper dance to Beethoven's Triple Concerto...does that seem a bit odd to anyone else? Anyway, I changed the layout of the page as well as its title. It was so plain before...however it looked....can't exactly recall--which only goes to prove it was unmemorable and, ergo,  had to go! Obviously. I also felt the old title, "Curtailment of Serenity", was a bit negatory & off message--afterall, I'm supposedly  seeking &  exploring serenity, not cutting it short or abridging it XD That title did have a lovely bit of poeticness about it, though, didn't it? I think I was in one of those upswings from a depressive episode when I came up with it. (Funnily enough "Curtailment of Serenity" did sorta tie into those first 6 months or so of recovery: I was doing everything I could to resist the program and my sponsor and wasn't even fully aware I was.... I really held myself back :\) So now this blog's titl


I just thought I'd give this a shot. You know, posting by mms. Good times with technology. So I did my third step with my sponsor the other day (wednesday, to be precise). It was awesome, more later :)

Well, well, well....

This isn't easy. Neither starting a new blog nor blogging about what I want to blog about today. Naturally, the two are linked, obnoxiously, so I might as well be up front. About 6 months ago I entered Alcoholics Anonymous (o0o0o0o!!). It's a long and strange and somewhat odd story of how I got there and why I've stayed with it, but those who know me well will probably understand & agree, and that's all that matters for the moment. As you can imagine, I'm not too upset about breaking my own anonymity; I hope to provide reflections and musings and ramblings on these and many, many other themes & topics (just you wait--one day I'll start on Doctor Who and not be able to stop!) primarily for my own benefit as well as any family, friends, and acquaintances interested. (That was a very long sentence; let's hope we can keep this post short >.<) I've started this new blog for a couple of reasons. One, the strongly alcoholic themes of both of