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Showing posts from September, 2010

I may love Meryl Streep, but this is ridiculous.

I just got out of an interview for an administrative assistant/file processing position at a law firm. I was getting nightmare visions that I'd be working for Meryl Streep from Devil Wears Prada--apparently life comprises two major areas of interest for her: practicing law and her cats. (Actually, the latter doesn't sound so bad; I do love cats afterall, mreow ^.^) But she's a very busy, very intense person, I hear. Sounds kinda cool, too, in her way I suppose. But very demanding. It's a parttime position but it'd be from like 2 to 7pm every weekday. I have no idea how American Eagle would feel about that arrangement 0.0

Lawlsauce, Winsauce, and a Bit of D'ohsauce. Mmm.

So as many of you probably know, I've been applying to jobs. This has provided some lulz, some win, and some ironic stress. (quick preview though: I did get a job :)) As I'm a slut for parallelism I'll ignore my preview for the moment and go for the lulz: So my first interview was last Friday. At Hollister. Me. At Hollister. That alone is lulz worthy. But the truly fappable bit comes when we actually examine one or two of the details and make a ridiculously dorky reference out of it.

Ah, remember when....?

So a week or two ago I was reading about Boeing's plans to get in on the commercial space tourism racket . You see, I'm one of those dorks who prays to the gods of the internets & cosmos & such that something like hyperspace/ftl travel could be possible within my own lifetime. Yeah, little known secret...and such a bloody long shot, by far, that I'll ever get to see another solar system in this lifetime....but....... This isn't such a bad compromise, I guess. Even some space travel is better than none . Even just the possibility. It's almost like science fiction beginning to come to life before my eyes. Fantasies fulfilled, even. It all gets me really really excited, and always has. Like, does anyone else remember the X Prize from a few years back? (Or who won it? or how lulzy it was that the $10mil prize didn't even cover the $25mil that went into developing the winning project? lulz indeed.) That whole thing had me totally jazzed for a while--and

fml--or, well, I guess it's not so bad really....

So my big accomplishment of the week was finishing my resume. I've been putting that off for.....2+ years? Yeah! How's that for cool kids? Then, right at the peak of my aweseomesauce, things got slightly less awesome on me. Stupid world and its stupid rules. But first, the resume. It really didn't take me long at all once I sat down, asked my dad for some suggestions, and got a basic idea going between him & the internet. The problem of course was really my perfectionism, egoism, apprehension, and anxiety--all of which were character defects that came up during my 4th/5th steps. And are ones I really need to learn to own, claim, and let go if I'm going to grow up.

Goddamn, this is why I love living in DC :)

Thank you, Jon Stewart. Not only do I actually believe in this thing's message, but it also sounds like a really good time. As you said, "It'll be like a chatroom....only real." The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c Rally to Restore Sanity Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party I can't be the only guy kinda annoyed at how extremists and partisanship muck up attempts at progress. You know, good ideas that get called stalin-esque and filled with porky 'compromise' until they're just plumply hitler-esque. I also love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, and anything they wanna do in my town, I wanna be there to fuck shit up with moderation, of course.

blogging = success (boys = fail)

So I think I figured out how to work around the whole facebook-not-importing-my-blog-to-notes thing--it's a neat lil app called RSS graffiti. Yeah, this is as much a test as it is a celebration. Meanwhile, things with yet another boy didn't quite work out. This time it was fairly merciful actually--less a lack of interest as a mutual realization that the situation was problematic (distance is a bitch). Yet more proof that geography is made of faggotry. Or anti-faggotry. I don't really feel like thinking that declaration out at this time XD I've got an early morning ahead of me, I might as well get to it. Also! I (mostly) finished my resume yesterday :D more on that bit of joy later...

Let's Dalloway The Day Away.

Since I can't seem to find a means to directly comment on my friend's post (stupid tumblr), I figured I'd make a blog post out of my response. This is my favorite paragraph of English prose in all of English literature, the 5th paragraph from Virginia Woolf's Mrs Dalloway : For having lived in Westminster -- how many years now? over twenty,-- one feels even in the midst of the traffic, or waking at night, Clarissa was positive, a particular hush, or solemnity; an indescribable pause; a suspense (but that might her heart, affected, they said, by influenza) before Big Ben strikes. There! Out it boomed. First a warning, musical; then the hour, irrevocable. The leaden circles dissolved on the air. Such fools we are, she thought, crossing Victoria Street. For Heaven only knows why one loves it so, how so, making it up, building it round one, tumbling it, creating it every moment afresh; but the veriest of frumps, the most dejected of miseries (drink their downfall) do same

h0ly sh1tskiez

So I got bored after lunch/while working on my resume, and so I meandered to the "stats" section of this blog. I know it's nuts--but it turns out there are people are actually reading this thing. WTF?! Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered, but you gotta understand...I'm a bit baffled too. Frankly much too few of you read " Bo Dean is a Funny Man "; how can you resist anything to do with pornstars & lulz?? Seriously people. Read it now.

Ah, Well, Fuck It.

I wrote this Friday morning intending to finish off the last paragraph later that day and post it. Interestingly enough, things have changed. My best friend and I decided to become roommates, I have newfound motivation to apply & follow up on jobs, and generally move forward as proactively as I can. So yeah, i'll try to post more about all that goodness later on, but until then, enjoy.... So far this morning has been a coming to terms. Coming to terms with not going to Sessions by the Sea in Ocean City - Did you know I've never been to Ocean City? I don't care if it's crap or not, I just want to see the damn place someday. Oh, and all that hot program/conference action too. That'd also be nice. I'm totally not so shallow that I'd prioritize going to the gorgeous/fun/sexy/mythical Ocean City or sating my curiosity--sentimental and lustful by turns--above furthering my sobriety/program. Heavens no. Coming to terms with needing a job - Did you know

One Day Some Day

One day, some day, You won't find me so creepy Or unappealing Or whatever it is about me. --That makes you pick up your pace As I call after. --Or roll your eyes when you think I can't see. --That makes you screen my calls Ignore my texts. Maybe some day. Maybe one day. Maybe. Should I wait that long I doubt it Can I wait that long I doubt it I'm simply human afterall And you're simply missing out.

Bo Dean is a Funny Man

So I was up all night and at one point I watched this porn I'd recently gotten--Cocksure Men's "The Gay Coach 7", starring Bo Dean and some poor bastard. As a porn star, naturally he has a big dick. From the way he was...thrusting it... it seems he certainly knows how to use it. He just likes using it to hurt ur butt . He's undeniably an irl troll, and fucking hilarious about it. See, Bo's fucking this guy who's crying out in obvious pain--and the entire time Bo's having ball, smiling at the guy's...discomfort. See, Bo didn't want the boy to be in abject, bloody agony apparently--afterall the guy wasn't screaming. No, just making pained groans and grunts, an unrelieved punctuation of "ow!"s "fucks!" and "oh God--!"s. I even skipped around looking for that magic point when the bottom wold stop butthurting and start buttwanting. That moment never came (giggity) . I almost had to pity the guy, except it was

Epic Faggotry--The good kind!

So my friend Meg made my week when she tipped me off to this: Tchaikovsky was fantastically   gay *. Like, unbelievably gay. Like, Freddie Mercury gay. Like, so gay his fabulousness radiated across Russia and warmed the hearts of millions (Ah, if only the Russians weren't such cold, heartless bastards, eh?). Oh, I came my pants. Verily. Such a bear; do you think he was much into leather, too?

Dorktronic Toxemia

It's kinda funny--the title of this post is itself an obscure reference to Doctor Who*. But, seriously, my dorktronic levels these last few weeks have been running dangerously high.... Besides watching Doctor Who (actually, less so than I've been known to...), I've really taken to watching/mocking bad movies (have you noticed?), both already MST3k'd and not. The other week I decided to switch over to Dvorak keyboard layout --in fact I'm trying to write this whole post with it as practice. The way I see it, the 3 biggest things I'll likely spend much of the rest of my life doing will involve lots of typing--writing, computering, and temping--and i can do without the repetitive strain injuries...yeah. I've also been fiddling with mah linuxes lots--I've put Linux Mint 9 LXDE on my laptop. Dunno if i'll keep it or go back to regular Linux Mint or try out the KDE flavor. Big winsauce though--ie monster dorktronics alert--I got Lubuntu working on an


1. Do shady, mysterious physical labor for neighbor... 2. ???? 3. PROFIT Yup that's my day. In a nutshell. Actually it's looking like it'll be viciously packed. Like, I'm not sure if I should just jack off/take a dump now while I can cuz I don't know if I'll have much of a chance later XD I guess we'll just hafta see then, eh?