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Showing posts from December, 2010

'A Case Of Space Herpes' or 'STDs In Space!' (The Ice Pirates/The Green Slime)

We have something very special this week, kiddies: a double feature!

There is likely much more that could be said about either of these movies—especially The Green Slime, which nearly cost me my life. Or could have. But something got me thinking, and the funny started happening from there. Both movies have STDs. That's right. You're gonna get sick from watching them. Oh, and catch the clap, too.

(what a dumb post)--New URL! Blog can haz!

Some of you may recall a few months back when I was trying to think up a url for my blog. At some point in the intervening time, I made a post pondering the consequences of voodoo on Haiti...a friend made a comment...it inspired a url....

facepalmer.[something]
see, some guy's had 'facepalmer.com' registered but unused for, like, ever. {not gonna judge...not gonna judge...not gonna judge....that fricking wanker!!}

Being as I am, afterall, me, I'd need a damn good reason to go with anything other than "facepalmer.com", right!?

And then it hit me.

facepalmer.org "--the 'org' is for 'orgasm!'"
it suits me way too well :) I am very pleased.

Cosmo Jarvis - Gay Pirates

Too cute. Not much more needs saying--I'll let the video speak for itself :P

My friend Colin showed this to me; thanks, man!

Holy Shite...

Well, I survived. How many blog posts have I started that way? Grr. If I valued originality more I might contrive some alternatives. But, alas.

Meanwhile, I've been working. A lot. And hard, too! I worked about 32ish hours last week and will again this week. Yay, retail + holidays = busy.



I think I'm beginning to get the hang of this whole customer service/outfitting/selling thing. Or reaching out/trying/engaging, at least. I actually enjoy it. It's a lot more fun than just standing on the sidelines, folding, and watching--passively--as yet another potential sale walks out the door instead of buying anything. Definitely more fun.


Like, I feel freer to just be myself. To be dorky, helpful, playful, fun, knowledgeable, inquisitive, creative.... I'm grateful, I suppose, to American Eagle and the principles its customer service emphasizes--Be Real, Be Party Ready, Be Friends First, and Be The Customer. So, like, instead of opening with sales pitches ("just so you know…

Just a lil quickie fer ya'z...

'Allo, Duckies.... Sorry I've been absent; I'm sure it's been brutal on you all. All three of you who read this, lawl.

I've been working my ass off at work (I'll have something like 31 or 32 hours this week by the end of Saturday...) to cull together enough change to make these loan payments (with maybe a bit to spare to get some lucky few some cheap ass gifts or something).

I've also been lazing off/avoidancing in my spare time. But mostly working. I haven't completely avoided my loan shit this particular week, just....putting it off. Goddamnit. I even know it'd be so much easier to just deal with it now or two weeks ago than to accrue anymore late payments/bad credit, but money just terrifies me :(

Well, I believe Dad and I're gonna take down these payment bastards tonight after work. My hope is he'll lend me the money necessary to eliminate this round of payments and their corresponding late fees, etc, and then I'll pay him back direc…

Survived, for now.

Rocky Horror was pretty good last night. I debuted as MC, and hopefully will have the privilege of MC'ing future shows. I may have sucked up some bits, but overall I had a lot of fun and the audience seemed to respond real good-like. :)

All 12 of them. XD

I also survived the whole week on nothing but a baggie of dimes. I'd found a cash of change back when I rearranged my room 'round Thanksgiving. Oh, there were quarters, but, of course, they were the first to go. The dimes actually lasted quite a while--I estimate there must've been at least $10 or $15 worth :)

I haven't entirely decided what movie to review for tomorrow; considering it's sunday and I'd still need to re-view before I can even review it, that could cut it close. If all else fails, I'll just do The Green Slime--which I only narrowly survived. No, not so much cuz of it's awfulness (it was pretty awful though...) as apparently the green slime's...sound effect pierced some deep part …

Oy, hey.

So the spons-da-sponse wanted me to do some first step work for our meetup this week; good ole "not yet" workthrough. Of course I didn't do it/haven't done it yet. >.<

You want powerlessness? Unmanageability? Left to my own devices, I'll let an entire week slip by. Left to my own devices, I'll get myself into a real money jam. Left to my own devices, I'll sit on my hands all depressy & mopey and not look for a job or work out some kinda a budget or anything productive, instead flirting with boys online to feel pretty and playing computer games to distract mahself/fritter time.

So, first thing's first....uh? What's first? Do (some of) the stepwork? Apply to another job? Clean my God forsaken room/the wasteland? Call my loan servicers?

Sigh, it sucks that even when I know I need to do something, and even kinda want to do something, I still manage to find nothing to do >.<

Hm, hm.

Uh, oh--another Radiohead mood....

But seriously, things have a kinda slowed-down-feeling. Not that I want to let them slow down--not that I'm going to let them slow down--just that that's how they feel. It's odd.

Follow The White Pyramid. (The Acid Eaters)

There are many bad movies out there. I hope to watch many of them--and blogment them for your enjoyment. There will, naturally, be some that are bad, a bit goofy, a bit weird, but ultimately just pathetic.
The Acid Eaters is just such a movie. This is probably the most outright pathetic film I’ve yet reviewed here. Still, though, it provides some interesting possibilities....
It’s an alleged drugsploitation movie from 1965 and, therefore, also a softcore porn. It’s terrible at being either of those things, of course. All the same, i learned that, apparently, acid is actually 4” x 4” x 1” squares of Styrofoam. And here I thought you weren’t supposed to eat Styrofoam. But there they are, and apparently doing so causes.....hallucinations? It certainly causes a bunch of middle-aged guys/drones and 30-something girls to act like teenaged idiots for just over an hour of our time. Joy.

Post-ponement...

>.< I'm not sure how today'll work out, but today's "Bad Movie Mondays" post may be posted as early as tonight but possibly tomorrow. I have been working on; notes have been taken, plans have been made, sentences have been composed (somewhat) in my mind. Just...some unexpected business/messiness came up and it'll have to take priority for the now.

See, I finally manned up and did the math on those student loans/wages business that had me so freaked out last week. You know how things are supposed to get easier once you face'em? At the least, turn out not as awful as you'd feared? Yeah, ironically, the numbers I crunched turned out worse than I'd been anticipating.

I can't help wondering if this could have been avoided. The severity of the ick, that is. You know, if I'd manned up/faced the messiness sooner.... *sigh*

Icky.

I hate allergies. Especially when they don't respond to such things as (over the counter) claritin. Bugger.

So I've already begun tomorrow's Bad Movie Monday review. I've watched it twice, looking for answers, inspiration, insight...and found little if any of them. It's a really pathetic movie but I think I can do something interesting with my review.

I took notes. Mmm.

I will say it's a drugsploitation movie, or tried to be. So this really meant there was a buttload of titties. I kept having to ask Parker, my straight roomie, things like "So, is this what tits look like?" "Is that normal?" "Would those be considered 'hot tits'?" etc. Thank God I had him or I'd have been so confused.

Yay for the gay.


Kk, I needa go pretend to get ready for work. And hope these allergies/congestion/whatever clears up by the time I actually have to clock in. Or it's gonna be a looong afternoon.

Do not want = Will not do?

It's a pathetic equation, to be sure, but so much of my life has been derailed by it.

I've been kinda down all week and didn't even realize it until at earliest Wednesday evening. Typically, I've been avoiding taking care of a whole gamut of responsibilities. Today I figured out what's got me down.

Money.