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Belated resolutions, pt 2.

Ugh, I did say I was gonna do this, didn't I? Part of me would rather be...well I don't have anything else I could be doing, I guess. Well, yes, I do, but who actually wants to do laundry? I could at least be writing about that thing...or this other...

Fine. Resolutions.

I think I need to work a better program. In fact, I know it, it's just that it's not entirely simple. Or, well, yes it is simple, it's just  not easy. Or is it easy and not simple. I can't remember right now.

One thing I know I should be doing is calling my sponsor more. More than, for example, once a week. Granted this last week was a bit fudged up with the holidays and everyone going which way and the other all at once, but still.

"But still". Fuck that. Let's focus on things to come, on going forward, on not beating the shit outta myself of the the things I cannot change. Let's actually try putting the Serenity prayer into action, hm? Mm.

Also! Stepwork. Clear & present stepwork. That'd be good, too.

As I said yesterday, I've noticed the good simply trying has done for me in the past several months. I think I should keep on trying--new things, old things, harder at things, less obsessively with things....

I also need to learn when to let go of things. Nothing has to be perfect, and yet I keep fighting for to perfect everything. Lame-sauce.

I also need to legit learn some stuff or I'm just not gonna survive all that well, dude.

Like prioritizing (there's gotta be something more important I could be doing than fiddling away on my blog & facebook all afternoon....). I suck at it, btw. Also, pacing myself.

Oh, and budgeting. That shit is rough. And scary. But not necessarily hard. One thing I suppose I'd do well to work on is hanging on to my money long enough to work on budgeting it at all. That'd be a good move, methinks. So, less spending. Or at least, less immediate, impulsive spending. Yes.

I suppose I could also work on learning to drive. Yeah, seriously, folks. I'm almost 24 and still haven't learned to drive. I mean, I can--I have--it's just I haven't gone much farther than parking lots. And not in a long while. I think I'm on my second learner's permit, too...

One funny thing, as I've gotten older, it's begun to feel like I don't really need to learn to drive. Hilarious, right? Nowadays I bike most places, and bus/train anywhere else.

Utterly ludicrous complacency, I know, but it's done little to help me get over my irrational fears of driving. Joy.

Oh, and I almost forgot to bring up "I wanna get back in shape" resolution: see, I wanna get back in shape.

Actually, I'm pretty ridiculously close. Like, nowadays, I can see myself in the mirror shirtless and not cringe or feel angry. Like, now I may note to myself how I'd like to get my chest back to its former firmness, to see my arms as thick as I've seen them, and certain other more minor things.

But what's weird, to me at least, is that my midsection isn't so far from what I'd like to see, and neither is the rest of my body. Don't get me wrong, would love another 20lbs of toned muscle. Whee. But even more modest changes wouldn't be so bad, frankly. That's kinda weird for me, guys. I'm much more used to hating my body/feeling ashamed of it.

SO, those are some resolutions! Right? Hm. Kinda wishy-washy, I suppose. Also, not very sentimental. Aren't these things supposed to be painfully optimistic/overdemanding? Hm. The bits that aren't so wishy washy actually come off almost...practical.

So how about this one--it occured to me the other day at work:
I will be a better, more intimate, less objectifying, and considerate, responsible person.
There we go. Now we're in trouble.


  1. Let's learn to drive, together! Especially since both DMV places are super close to you, in comparison to me. :D


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