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Don't make me finish it (pt 1?). (Multi-Facial)

I'm perfectly aware what a judgmental asshole I can be. But I'm also quite capable of being open minded.

That's the only way I could have watched as much of Vin Diesel's short film Multi-Facial as I did. Actually, it was somewhat interesting. Apparently he can kind of act. And has, like, principles. Or his character, Mike, does. Whichever, it's transparently himself. I think he wrote it himself, too.

So yeah, surprisingly somewhat interesting and watchable. Right up until he started rapping.

I don't, as a general rule, listen to rap. Therefore it's not really my field of expertise. I couldn't be sure if this was my normal aversion or somehow something justified, so I brought in an expert. Parker.

Parker confirmed it. That was some seriously bad rapping. What hurt most was the jewy producer "Mike" was auditioning for chuckles, sincerely, with everyone else at the apparent jokes and tells him "That was really good!"

The only reason I had even bothered watching it up to that point had been a mild curiosity plus the amusing title.


Mr Diesel shows off his ACTING too as his character's going around auditioning places trying to be an ACTOR. A GREAT ACTOR. Who compares himself to Marlon Brando constantly. "I can't do Soaps. Marlon Brando never did soaps." Contrived but acceptable. Even a bit cute once you get past its insisting on itself.


So what if 2 of the three auditions he showed of his ability to be a douche of many nationalities--first a guido asshole and then a hispanic cockslapper. Neither's terribly outrageous for Vin Diesel, of course, but still.



But then that rap. Dude, that rap.... I...I just couldn't keep watching after that. It was too much. The movie had already rubbed off on me with a contrived over-earnestness that bugged me sideways, but then, dude, that rap! It wanted me to be impressed so badly!

And then the jewy guy saying "That was really good!", as though trying to insist an interpretation onto the audience. Who're probably already too busy puking their guts to hear him say it anyway.

If y'all insist enough, I'll actually finish this movie. I just lost my appetite too severely after that rap-audition. But...I'll do it. In the name of Science, or Art, or Lulz.

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