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Best. Bikeride. EVER.

My bikeride to work yesterday was unusually...colorful, to say the least. I passed two weird-ass characters en route, and had to share the experience.

First was a junkie/schizo version of Whoopi Goldberg trundling up the sidewalk with some mass of plastic bags, possibly containing more plastic bags or some other stuff. We will likely never know.

Anyway, as she steps aside so I can pass, we make polite eye contact, and she mumbles--with a slightly unhinged but still informative air of propheticism--"Same old shit...justa diffrunt day...."

She said this directly, as though it were some vital life lesson, deadly serious. Very not what I'd expect form good ole Whoopi.

A bit later, I'm passing mattress Warehouse and happen upon a stereotypical witch-type.

Craggy, somewhat gnarled face; light, faded, fluffy hair; tiny and scrawny; apparently using one of those wire push-carts as a walker, just hobbling along minding her own business.

But--dude--she looked and dressed exactly like Stephanie Tanner from Full House. I shit you not

Hit this with the witch stick and you've got my girl. Woman. Witch. Person.
I'm pretty sure at around this time the 1990s collapsed in on themselves.

But even so--who says Wheaton, MD, has no celebrity??


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