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On Crap.

I feel like yesterday's post was one of the ones I frequently regret posting.  Rambly, dark-ish, disheveled about, unimportant....often simple enough concepts I seem incapable of leaving be--but must complicate, often obscenely.

It's a frequent bad habit of mine, I guess. The way my brain is, I can't ever leave anything "simple enough". Given all the directions my brain goes in at once, it's a wonder I don't complicate some things even worse.

A classic (ie. vintage) slogan in AA is "Keep It Simple."; I'd probably do well to remember that in my blogging. It might lead to shorter, clearer, more accessible posts.

Like this one--I'd started it yesterday and was all set to launch into some kind of self-invective ramble. Going a bout trying to clarify and deride at once. Not a terribly pretty sight. And that'd probably have just be the beginning. You know, the simple part.

Also worth keeping in mind: Not everything has to be a masterpiece; it's okay to be mediocre or crappy now and then. Clinging to that perfection compulsion, instead of letting go what's passed, will only cause me misery and anger and frustration. It can only lead to angry, apologetic, unnecessary, and negative posts like the one I was going to follow up with yesterday.

What a mess one can make of one's own mind...and entirely of one's own doing, no less.

Maybe other people can get away without it--with not 'keeping it simple'--but I doubt I can. But that's alright; I can try to be fantastic at other things and still get by, eh?

For all I know, maybe yesterday's post was perfectly fine enough; maybe it even meant something to someone; maybe it did matter or otherwise isn't worth my regret & ire. Or maybe it was complete, utter, and embarrassingly awful crap and should never have been posted.

Either way, it probably isn't worth the bother of worrying over. Let's keep things simple or, at the least, real: it was a post on a blog. While that blog may be the sumtotal and only real representative of all my writerly efforts & intrigue at present, it's still just a blog. This is neither the time nor the place for such high standards.

You can probably tell I'm still having trouble letting go of this for some reason. But at least I've remembered that I can let go of crap and worry. Vanity is only skin-deep, afterall. No sense (or use) in letting it go deeper.


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