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Showing posts from November, 2011

Slow down.

Since I thought of a title for this post, I've kept thinking of that Radiohead song--"The Tourist"--and its refrain. Hey man, slow down. Lord knows I need to.

For one, this last week has been crazy as hell. Like, "whoa, that's fucking crazy".

Most of the week I worked mad hours into the night helping to get the store ready for Black Friday. One night, I started at 6pm and got out at 8am; I got to bed at 9:30 that morning and rolled outta bed around noon so I could be back at the store by 3pm; I got out that night at 3am. I think (?) I had a day off--oh, right, Thanksgiving! sigh.--before Black Friday. I got to the mall at 10pm Thursday night and didn't leave until 10pm Friday.

Yup. 24 hours.

So, what with the wack hours and sleeplessness, most of last week seemed to rush past me. I hardly spent any time with my grandmother and thanksgiving was simply a large meal between naps before work. I don't feel like that was particularly fair to anyone, but..…

Emo-moment.

I'm hoping if I schedule this for late at night no one will read it. Because obviously I still have to blog it.

The place I'm in emotionally and stuff is a lot better than it has been recently. I'm not as angry or sad, just disgruntled and restless. Of course, I'm not entirely sure what I'm feeling and certainly not why. I do know some sticking points my mood catches on and can't always shake itself free of.

For one, a lack of friends. Like, there are the people I work with and the people I do Rocky with and the people I chat with online now and then, and, yeah, I suppose they count as some kinda friends. But I'm not sure how many of them or to what extent I can consider them friends. I don't think I can count more than a couple people--and I mean a couple--I actually hang out with, regularly or otherwise. Of course, numbers are the silver bullet to any sense of a social life, but I think there's a point in there.

For two, neglecting my writing. I c…

Oh, didn't I mention?

So I have 3 jobs now. It's gonna get intense--especially this week with Black Friday looming monolithically. I'm still not entirely sure why I'm doing this to myself, but I'm sure I've got a plan.

So as many of you have inferred, I've been working at American Eagle Outfitters for over a year. Though it's been tough at times, it's still fun, and I've learned a lot.

Then I picked up visual merchandising gig at Macy's, it was short term, but it was fun and different. It led to job #2: I've been picked up to do recovery & replenishment at Macy's. It's something I had to get good as well as fast at doing at AE, so frankly the actual tasking isn't so hard as the figuring out what to fix up and keeping up my stamina/focus.

Then job 3 came along, half outta nowhere. Parker works over at PacSun as a keyholder/assistant manager (whoo! :D), and now our friend Jeremiah manages the store. People from my AE have flocked to our mall's P…

Water sports and celebrity.

My friend Lucas is pretty cool shit, man. He and I go way back to when I still lived in NYC. God, we were such kids back then. Now he's a blogger, and goddamned good at it, man. I thought this recent post was particularly cute: "Back to the Basement: My Return to GBU".

I got so giddy and squee when I read, "To tell the truth, though, one of my favorite things about this party is the fact that it makes me feel like a mini-celebrity".

He and I are, as I said, old friends. We met on some gay profile site about a jillion years ago and proceeded to chat quite amiably on AIM. Often we commiserated over how sucky and dumb boys were or how we needed to get ourselves laid. I remember it: that old apartment I loved so much, the dark of the room, the bitterness, the relief at having someone to talk to. It was good times.

But we've (ostensibly) grown up since then. He's an up-and-coming sex blogger (giggity) and doing goddamn well for himself. He deserves it--I know…

Who searches for this shit?

I've posted about it before, but I love looking at my site's stats now and then. They're still woefully meager, but it's still funny to see what people were searching for when they found my blog. Besides being surprised that anyone would search for me/my blog (that's where most of my traffic seems to come from...), it's just plain weird imagining people who'd actually type some of these things into google and hit ENTER.

Three particularly odd search keywords things from the last month caught my eye this afternoon. I'll list them from most funny to most odd.

angry crazy screaming insane woman Seriously? Who the fuck searches for this? Like, sits down at the computer and says, "You know what? I wanna see an angry crazy screaming insane woman. Yeah, that's just what I wanna see right now."

I can't even stand when the woman at a table next to me tries to get bitchy with the server (I can't stand it when anyone tries to get bitchy with t…

Thorough, blunt, and brutal.

I hadn't even heard of this "porn storm" attack on facebook, but frankly it's kinda hilarious. See, I've more than a bit of troll in me. I think I have too much of a conscience, though, to ever actually troll anyone terribly well. As a result I never went much for 4chan itself and its boards but have enjoyed encyclopediadramatica.com (back when it was still vile and brilliant and funny as fuck). But though not much of a troll-er myself, I can still appreciate a good trolling.

And, frankly, plastering porn and gore across facebook is classic. And hilarious.

However, this dipshit thinks it definitely/probably wasn't Anonymous. Fair enough--it's hard to pin it on anyone for certain--but he thinks it couldn't be them for all the wrong reasons. And it leaves me wondering how it can be so difficult for people to understand Anonymous and /b/ and all that.
For those familiar with them, I may have to break rules 1 and 2 for this, but I hope you can forgive me.

Finally?

Fuck that iPad shit. Fuck it good. I've been eying those Android tablets something fierce ever since I played with one in a Verizon store. For one, Android is just way cooler and betterer. For two, it's so much fun to play with one of those things. 9 goddamn screens, man! :D (For three, I really dislike Apple (products).)

And it looks like I may someday soon actually get one?! According to predictions, the price of some of the simpler Android tablets could have them as low as $49 by Black Friday. I feel like I should start researching this now because--as is usually the case--I'll probably get a lot of giftcards/checks by Christmas, plus all this money I'm raking (read: barely trickling in but in large quantities, if that makes sense), I may be able to splurge up something awesome.

See, I still love my Android phone--I really do. It's a first gen Droid X, and even though it's a bit outdated it still does plenty to keep me happy. But between its occasional faili…

Might as well.

Mrrrrrr......my brain is not functional. So why am I blogging? I suppose something in me values it--and wants to see me blog more.

I've been trying to get more involved with my corner if the blogosphere/InterTronLand--subscribing to friends' blogs and following twitterfeeds and reading/snarking the news.

It's fun but it can be a bit time consuming. I dont know how many prospective bloggers/internet celebrity hopefuls take that into account. That a good many of the internet folk  they idolize for being so cool, so funny, so natural have had to commit such great sacrifices to seem so cool, so funny, so natural. Of course, half the battle is precisely to seem so cool, so funny, so natural.

It's much the same for writers, generally; someone very clever, incisive, and possibly more than a bit jaded said somewhere out there on the internets--"Writing is an illness not a profession.". It's always a commitment of some kind. But it's also a <i>…

Call me Asshole.

Or Moby Dick. Cuz I probably am one. I have been for a while if that's the case, but it wasn't until yesterday that I was actually called out on it in all seriousness. And although I probably deserved it--and do and plenty more occasions, too--I'm still struggling with it somehow.
Here's the context:
@palmerpink: I mean, I can't really blame @THEHermanCain for sexually assaulting Bialek--she *is* kinda a cougar afterall http://usat.ly/ugxL24 #badfag
@Dondurma: @palmerpink Maybe you think you're being hilarious. There is no question that you're an asshole, and an unfunny one at that.
@palmerpink: @Dondurma I wholeheartedly agree, actually.
Because why shouldn't I? As I said, I probably deserved this, but it also comes with the territory of being an asshole.
Of course, that somebody could actually not like me is disquieting. Part of me was bothered every bit as much as the rest of me laughed it off. That part of me wanted to reply additionally with argumen…

Fuck yeah.

So, sex is really fun. And easy. Not the getting, exactly, but certainly the doing. Yeah, the fucking has gotten so nice and natural feeling. But it hasn't always been that way.

A bit of back story. So back in high school, around when I first came outta the closet, I was troubled by that classical dichotomy--love versus lust. This was quickly rectified by discovering Walt Whitman and how openly he admired sex. Thus did I put aside any moral qualms about sex: sex was something beautiful and amazing to share in with another person, in which the feelings of love and passion could come together manifest and gift-like.

Isn't that just sweet? All romantic and darling. Golly, I used to be such a good kid.


It was still another 2 years or so before I fucked or got fucked; it was with my first boyfriend.

We had some--many, really--good times. But our relationship was so worried and anxious--we were so young and dumb and insecure--, and that was often reflected in the sex. It could be r…

Because I prolly should.

Yeah it's been a long bit since I posted, hasn't it?I've been working 20hrs a week at Macy's doing visual merchandising (it's still pretty sweet even if im exhausted from bad sleep habits), going to continue at AE at least for the short/medium term, but still polishing up my resume. I'll prolly be at AE through the holidays but I'd still rather it not be my only job/source of (fucking meager) income.I've been having some really awesome sexual revelations recently. You can bet your sweet little ass I am gonna prolly dedicate a proper post to that soon ish.I've continued feeling a bit agitated, however I feel like I have more options (?). I wont say "control" because that's part of the problem, I think. I think either my inner demands to have everything a certain way or my recurring frustration when some things never seem to change or my feelings of powerlessness about some things I just don't have any power over....something in ther…