Yeah it's been a long bit since I posted, hasn't it?
I've been working 20hrs a week at Macy's doing visual merchandising (it's still pretty sweet even if im exhausted from bad sleep habits), going to continue at AE at least for the short/medium term, but still polishing up my resume. I'll prolly be at AE through the holidays but I'd still rather it not be my only job/source of (fucking meager) income.
I've been having some really awesome sexual revelations recently. You can bet your sweet little ass I am gonna prolly dedicate a proper post to that soon ish.
I've continued feeling a bit agitated, however I feel like I have more options (?). I wont say "control" because that's part of the problem, I think. I think either my inner demands to have everything a certain way or my recurring frustration when some things never seem to change or my feelings of powerlessness about some things I just don't have any power over....something in there has me restless and anxious, and it's all to do with control.
Instead I'm trying to look more for the little things I can manage, that I can do, and leave the bigger things and worries be--for the time being, at least. I've also started trying to invest myself less in expecting certain outcomes and more in being open to whatever happens, knowing as long as I've done what I can and the best then that's all I can really hope for--or, rather, all I can really count on.
Anyway that went on longer than I'd meant. Sigh. Oh well, phoneposts are fun all the same :-P
Imma get going and do some kinda stuff before my store meeting but yeah, I can't deny I've been feeling g pretty down at times, but I can't deny I haven't also gotten better at trying the best I can anyway.
Hoorah double negatives!