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Slow down.

Since I thought of a title for this post, I've kept thinking of that Radiohead song--"The Tourist"--and its refrain. Hey man, slow down. Lord knows I need to.

For one, this last week has been crazy as hell. Like, "whoa, that's fucking crazy".

Most of the week I worked mad hours into the night helping to get the store ready for Black Friday. One night, I started at 6pm and got out at 8am; I got to bed at 9:30 that morning and rolled outta bed around noon so I could be back at the store by 3pm; I got out that night at 3am. I think (?) I had a day off--oh, right, Thanksgiving! sigh.--before Black Friday. I got to the mall at 10pm Thursday night and didn't leave until 10pm Friday.

Yup. 24 hours.

So, what with the wack hours and sleeplessness, most of last week seemed to rush past me. I hardly spent any time with my grandmother and thanksgiving was simply a large meal between naps before work. I don't feel like that was particularly fair to anyone, but...I don't exactly feel bad about it. It sucks I skimped on one of my favorite holidays (and favorite grandmas), but...

Well, for one, I think I really proved myself (to myself, at least). Like, who knew this lazy sonuvabitch had it in him to work for 24hours?? Nevermind that he danced his lil ass off & high-fived his coworers somewhat gratuitously to keep everyone awake and pumped. Nevermind how hardcore he worked those fitting rooms--while instructing two new employees on the finer points of fitting room rocking--and outfitted every person he passed. So what if he was getting dizzy spells of exhaustion while folding down Macy's at the end of the day?? He got through that, too.

It's funny. I'm usually such a people pleaser--I not only need people's approval but my actions have often been driven by that need for approval. In this case, I really think I did it for myself. For the challenge of it, for the thrill and the good of it. The whole week I pushed myself to work as hard and be as awesome as I could because--why not?

I was actually surprised when my manager pointedly thanked me for how awesome and hardworkin' I've been the last couple weeks. Huh, turns out when I don't seek approval, I seem to find more of it? And, like, it feels more genuine cuz I wasn't fishing for it all along?? Who knew.

In other news, there's been a real slow down in traffic to this blog. This is unacceptable--though probably because I haven't posted much/any over the last couple days and everyone was busy eating/sleeping/footballin with their families. Still.

Lucas offered to put a banner for my blog on his site. All I gotta do is make said banner. I feel like that might bring me some hot, sexy traffic. Mmm....whoring myself out sounds pretty hot right about now.


Other things that might interest you...

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So I read Mrs. Dalloway in high school, and it was perhaps the most beautiful thing I'd ever read. One passage in particular, very early in the book, hit me hard with my first experience of the sublime, and stayed with me—and led at last to my first tattoo.
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I'm also in a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadowcast (website in progress, but that's us :)). Naturally, they were all excited about that Glee episode when they first heard about it; I on the other hand gave a pained smile and said "Isn't that special. I'm still not watching it."

Part of me's pretty glad I didn't, frankly. (hah! get it? like Tim Curry.)