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To my credit.

I'll be brief, perhaps...for once...I'm weary. You may be in luck.

For reasons beyond my caring, my store--my department, especially--has upped its game credit wise. That is, in getting people signed up for our store credit card. All well and good--in fact when I actually talk to people about credit I can be pretty convincing and find it fairly easy (the talking about it part, at least).

But now we've added a new dimension. I don't know if it's just our new way of doing things or simply because it's slow, but we've taken to the aisles to solicit people to apply for our card.

Nobody else seems to have had any trouble with this. I, on the other hand, have been near my breaking point for two days in a row. It's not that I can't talk about our credit card or lack confidence--I could list a dozen ways to save and how they're relevant to you and your interests--it's just the talking part. To random people. About something they might (might! that's too much of a "will" for my peace of mind!) yell at me for.

Not that they have, mind you. My brain is crazy. (As I wrote earlier, it's also stupid.) Frankly, it's no big deal. Considering how many people pass through my department (we are the second floor entrance from/to the rest of the mall...), success is only a matter of numbers. And frankly, most people are surprisingly polite. It's just...what if they judge me? what if they don't like me anymore? what if they get mad or ignore me?? What should I say? what if I goof? what if....???

It's that I just panic. If for even a moment at a time, I panic. I say, "Not this one...or that one....or that one either......." and soon I'm asking nobody. Then, I feel guilty and inadequate and thus more pressured. It all gets worse when my latent competitiveness kicks.

Motherfucker. I'm thinking too much (no, really?). I'm freaking out over nothing. As usual. Truth is, it looks like people generally like the rewards programs they belong to.

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