Skip to main content

A step apart.

And in a spasmodic shock, suddenly I find myself on the verge of moving out. Or something like that.

Yesterday, Parker, I, and our friend Steph went around to a couple of apartment leasing offices and asked questions and looked at rents & square footages & numbers of bedrooms. Then we went to Pizza Hut to talk serious. Is this really happening? Suddenly I find myself talking things like weekly roommate meetings and shares of rent and pros+cons lists. Suddenly, things I'd been writing about months ago are just happening.

Of course, they aren't really just happening. We (read: Parker) got off our asses and started doing shit for a change. But I'm a good team player; I can fall in step--and run with it. I've already mathed out rent share scenarios and roommate contingencies. I'm planning to research some other apartment places in the area. I've even started thinking outside of the box and considered not rooming with Parker. It's a scary thought but may be necessary in the short term.

It is amazing how much more I'm capable of than I give myself credit within the whispering catacombs of my own mind. Once I get going and get going in earnest, I can actually surprise myself. I should probably let me surprise myself more; could end up pretty good. But I get off topic.

It dawned on me yesterday, whether consciously or otherwise, the progress I've made. For example, I was surprised how much more financially stable and empowered I am than I was, say, 6 or 7 months ago. I also just feel readier; if I had to move into an apartment this weekend, though it may be a bit rushed, I'd be game. I think. Either way, thinking about apartments feels a bit different, and it's a good kinda different.

Comments

Other things that might interest you...

This moment: A tattoo.

So I read Mrs. Dalloway in high school, and it was perhaps the most beautiful thing I'd ever read. One passage in particular, very early in the book, hit me hard with my first experience of the sublime, and stayed with me—and led at last to my first tattoo.
In people’s eyes, in the swing, tramp, and trudge; in the bellow and the uproar; the carriages, motor cars, omnibuses, vans, sandwich men shuffling and swinging; brass bands; barrel organs; in the triumph and the jingle and the strange high singing of some aeroplane overhead was what she loved; life; London; this moment of June.  (Emphasis added; full paragraph included below. From the full text of the novel as made available by the University of Adelaide.)

The paragraph this is from, the 4th paragraph of the novel, is the 1st passage with the stream of consciousness the book is famous for; although self-limited here, the flow is no less gorgeous. In the passage, Clarissa is walking on a street to get those famous flowers herse…

A Valentine's Special.

Yeah, I'm one of those guys who's never really been with someone around Valentine's. I am sometimes baffled how other people manage these things--and why I can't. To be fair, it's probably as much my not trying enough and trying too hard as it is anything pariticularly wrong with me. Like, I know I don't get myself out there enough to meet guys and when I do it's probably compensatory and usually flawed from the start.

The other question is--why does it matter so much to me? Evidently it seems like something I want but something I'm scared of, too. It may also be something I'm just not very good at. I'm secretly timid and fearful of most confrontation and directness. For all my communication skills, I always seem to chicken out when it comes to talking to guys in a healthy, sustaining way. I'm a dreamer who wants something nice badly enough to stick to something for the concept of having it more than the reality of dealing with it; I want to…

Rocky Horror - Better than Glee.

You know, I've routinely refused to watch Glee. Like whoa. I've seen bits, it's amusing, but not my thing. Plus how can I be a properly pretentions intellectual fag if I don't look down on & snub snobbily some ragingly popular thing?? It's just not proper decorum, really.

I'm also in a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadowcast (website in progress, but that's us :)). Naturally, they were all excited about that Glee episode when they first heard about it; I on the other hand gave a pained smile and said "Isn't that special. I'm still not watching it."

Part of me's pretty glad I didn't, frankly. (hah! get it? like Tim Curry.)