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Showing posts from August, 2012

Sometimes tricky.

Asking for help can be tough, but sometimes tougher still is figuring out what to ask for.I'm sitting outside my therapist's office before my appointment. And I keep wondering--what am I going to talk about? It's more a "where do I start...?" than a "what is there to say...?" situation, but either way it comes down to needing helping and wanting help but not being totally sure how to ask for it.There is some major (or at least majorly frustrating) dysfunction in my brain; of this much I'm certain. I'm not sure, though, where it's tripping me up or how it manages to trick me every time. So how do I ask for help? What am I asking for?It's rather a tricky trouble.I suppose I could focus on specific frustrations of the week, then talk with him of ways of approaching them differently, etc. But it isn't just with him I need to work on asking for help. I have other resources I don't (adequately, responsibly) take advantage of. Friends, …

Still trying.

Things are slow sometimes; sometimes it's hard to see any changes at all. It's especially easy to overlook them when you doubt them regularly. But how much does worrying get you?I like talking big changes. Sometimes I'll break them out and talk myself into thinking it's all terribly easy, then let myself down anyway with a monumental lack of motivation. I've had better luck with aiming for smaller changes.Like, I've had "job look" in my to do list for an age and a half or so now, roughly meaning "look for/at job possibilities". Granted it can be pretty simple depending on interpretation--like, look on craigslist and see what there is that sounds reasonable. I've even done it a couple times and felt both bucked up and let down. Because even then, but especially in more broad implementation, there are other steps in "job look" that I have to get organized.And that can be scary. But even in that, I can try marshalling it along, a …