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Sexpossibilities.

The good news is I can still jack off.

I've actually known for a while--in fact, the first night after the surgery. I somewhat surreptitiously attempted it; obviously I was doing it intentionally, and alone in the dark, so the only secretive part was in considering reasons I might refrain from beating off the goods barely 12 hours after they'd been under the knife, but choosing to anyway.

And all systems were go, and came. I paused, though, as I approached climax, (it had already taken a while) not sure if I'd be racked with pain or look down to find blood in my cum, thinking, "If there's going to be a time to stop, a last chance to avoid a risk of anything, of the worst, now is that time," but taking the plunge instead. It had been a while, I guess; it was everywhere. And no blood in the semen or crippling pain!


It's funny, I suppose. I first found the lump while masturbating. I was already at the brink, so there really wasn't much choice to stop and considering what I had was feeling; but as the glow began to fade, and my mind drifted to what to wipe up with, it instead snapped back to what I'd found.

I've been something of a compulsive masturbator for years, at least a decade.I've been assured by reliable persons that it's not quite been to the point of sex addiction or sexual compulsion, but it has been a persistent and exaggerated "stress management". It has even been a thing of shame; the amount of time wasted and life squandered has in the past led me to an almost Freudian fixation that I reeked of dry semen and thus could not go out in public. Madness.

So it's funny to think that's how I found the cancer.

Yes, it is definitely cancer. Technically, they couldn't definitely diagnose it as cancer until they'd had samples under a microscope. Which they've done. Non-seminoma germ cell tumor; as I recall, specifically embryonal carcinoma.

But more on that later.


Perhaps because the area is still tender, nevermind the missing testicle, jacking off has felt a bit uncomfortable. So I haven't really jerked off all that much lately. But I can, which is good I suppose. I imagine though this means I could have sex if I so desired. You know, in case anyone was wondering.

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