Skip to main content

Rites of coffee.

It's time we talked about coffee--because this is important and it matters. This won't take long, but pay attention, it might get tricky.

There are at least three kinds of coffee throughout the day. They are First Coffee, Second Coffee, and Backup Coffee. Some people do more, some fools do less.

First Coffee is the best named, and perhaps most literally named, thing in all Creation. It comes First, before anything else. It is bae. Many cannot function without First Coffee; others take it as mere ritual, oblivious to its sublime significance. Fools.

Pretentious mug.
For me, I don't count my actual first coffee (usually a cold mug of leftover coffee when I get up) because it is lame to do so; the Real First Coffee or First Real Coffee takes place when I get to work, at around 10 am. While my computer is booting up, I grab my pretentious mug and proceed to the coffee maker. And the blessings be upon me, my day has begun auspiciously.

Second Coffee varies: It is a bit trickier to place as it is sometimes perfunctory, sometimes necessitated. Sometimes it follows First Coffee because the mug is empty, and one is thirsty. Sometimes First Coffee proves insufficient (horror!), and another coffee is required.

I usually take Second Coffee around noon, perhaps with my lunch or because I was thirsty. There have been times, though, when Second Coffee proved heroic; when my brain was simply unresponsive, but Second Coffee saved me. Those times are when Second Coffee really shines.

Backup Coffee is perhaps more an optional coffee than a true requisite for Daily Ritual and Functioning. But it still warrants respect and recognition because sometimes, midafternoon or later, one's spirits falter, one's abilities slacken. Backup Coffee becomes necessary, then; Backup Coffee makes all the difference, then. One will be grateful for having counted Backup Coffee among its esteemed brethren.

The trouble is, Backup Coffee demands a certain respect. Take Backup Coffee too late in the day, and one may face sleeplessness; too early, the jitters.

These coffees and their taxonomy may seem trivial; they may seem overwrought. But they matter, and it is important to give them the respect they deserve for their Great Service. Also, coffee is amazing.

Comments

Other things that might interest you...

This moment: A tattoo.

So I read Mrs. Dalloway in high school, and it was perhaps the most beautiful thing I'd ever read. One passage in particular, very early in the book, hit me hard with my first experience of the sublime, and stayed with me—and led at last to my first tattoo.
In people’s eyes, in the swing, tramp, and trudge; in the bellow and the uproar; the carriages, motor cars, omnibuses, vans, sandwich men shuffling and swinging; brass bands; barrel organs; in the triumph and the jingle and the strange high singing of some aeroplane overhead was what she loved; life; London; this moment of June.  (Emphasis added; full paragraph included below. From the full text of the novel as made available by the University of Adelaide.)

The paragraph this is from, the 4th paragraph of the novel, is the 1st passage with the stream of consciousness the book is famous for; although self-limited here, the flow is no less gorgeous. In the passage, Clarissa is walking on a street to get those famous flowers herse…

QP: Changes to come, I hope.

My grandmother passed away about 2 weeks ago. I hope to write about her more soon, but for this moment, I want to speak briefly about where I'm at overall: Her passing has led me to reevaluate aspects of my life because I'm realizing that the status quo amounts to just wasting my life away.

(This is another "quick post," which means it's a short update that I likely didn't edit and revise quite as much as the more "thoughtful" pieces I aim for. I say this because I'm self-conscious and worry that you, my reader, will judge me!)

I'm up in Boston and have today and tomorrow off, and I want to spend at least a portion of each day figuring out (some of) my life. I say this fully aware how often I've variously done so before: asserted a need for change, described how I was going to do it, made an attempt, then fallen off in the follow-through. I'm honestly not sure what to do about that, though. It frustrates me now just as much as ever, e…

Rocky Horror - Better than Glee.

You know, I've routinely refused to watch Glee. Like whoa. I've seen bits, it's amusing, but not my thing. Plus how can I be a properly pretentions intellectual fag if I don't look down on & snub snobbily some ragingly popular thing?? It's just not proper decorum, really.

I'm also in a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadowcast (website in progress, but that's us :)). Naturally, they were all excited about that Glee episode when they first heard about it; I on the other hand gave a pained smile and said "Isn't that special. I'm still not watching it."

Part of me's pretty glad I didn't, frankly. (hah! get it? like Tim Curry.)