So I've been thinking. Thinking about life and stuff. And blogging. Especially the older parts of this blog. And I'm not sure, because of them, whether I really want to continue this blog.
Long story short, and with several personal details omitted, I've changed a lot since I began this blog. Like, a lot. Seriously a lot. And I'm not sure where that person who I used to be fits in with who I am now. Should I be ashamed of or embarrassed by that person? Is it unhealthfully dissociative to even think of him as someone separate?
This wouldn't be the first time I've broken off and started a new blog. When I was even younger and arguably even crazier, I had a blog that was full of drama and bad mischief and, eventually, far too much alcohol as well. That person--the one who couldn't respect anyone's privacy, who flew into rages and depressions, who held nothing back even at the expense of others but especially to get attention--is someone with whom I certainly feel a distance and, I think, a healthy one.
But how different is the person who started this blog? I'd like to think that, on the whole, he was generally more well-meaning and less unkind. But he was still nuts, still desperate for attention, still not entirely ready for "prime time."
In the few years I've been away from this blog, I've learned a lot about respect and a lot about, shall we say, restraint.
I'm still not sure yet whether I'll continue this blog. I feel a lot clearer, after writing this post, about why I might or might not want to. But at least keep these reflections in mind, dear reader, if anything from before 2017 strikes you as especially weird. Also, if its grammar is terrible, recall that I only just formally became an editor and, therefore, accountable for such things.